My first Love.. (definitely for a lifetime!)

December 2007: around 22nd of the month: ..

Sam was leavin the family for 5 months.. and me for more than one and a half years!

did i see it

coming?.. i think i did.. but not this early in life..

he packed his stuff the previous night.. mum was after his blood.. saying "sam you r so disorganised... is this how you would keep you stuff on the ship?".. yes! a ship! thats whr he was off to!.. and to name it.. Maersk Kowloon! He had grown up! from the fattest baby ever, to this rough and tough guy..who'd come up in life just because someone watched him from up above..

it was morning! i was in bed, but awake.. they said a word of prayer.. and mum said, "joy get up! sam's going".. naa, i dint get up!.. sam came to me.. knelt down.. held my hand and i almost squished his hand.. and he said (in his typically cracking tone).."joy, im going.. all the best.. rem'mbr we're united in heart, always!".. he kissed me and left..

for a moment, i did not believe it!.. did he really go?.. or wuz i dreamin? somethin told me i needed to get up and go and look outside.. mum stood there crying, granny stood there praying! and me? i was just there.. no emotions! yeah he was gone! the same boy who had struggled thru life.. was going on his first sail ever! in my heart of hearts.. i was rejoicing! nothing better could have happened to him!.. i wished he came back in a day or two.. well well, reality struck! he was gone! he waved from the car.. and showed a thumbs-up!

he's always been this strong guy! and i cant do without him!!..

and look at this guy now.. (you see the picture?).. thats him , in germany! im sure he did not ever dream of touching a H-A-R-L-E-Y!! yes, thats him! all happy and smiling!.. and safe under God's Protection!.. 27th may 2008.. he got back home!.. says he's put on weight and all.. but naa.. he's lean and thin, thats wot mum told me!.. i spoke to him.. and heard him after 3.5 months! happiness filled my heart.. and tears of joy ran down my cheeks! was i happy or what!.. missed him awfully.. but one thing i know.. he's there for me! .. i have his emails from the ship!..memory for a lifetime!.. thank god for technology! MISS YOU SAMMY BOY.. (thats what i've nicknamed him on gtalk!).. like you say, sam.. "we're united in heart!".. *huggss*..

.. and i was finally on board- singapore airlines!

i do re-collect.. it was 10th feb 2008!

MIXED EMOTIONS.. and nothing else!

life was gooing to change a full circle!

it would start all over again.. and jus as i expected.. the day nvr went any faster.. before i even knew it, the black square clock in my room struck 8pm.. dad said, "c'mon, lock all your stuff.. take your backpack... mum's makin something.. eat quickly.. we have to leave".... it felt like he wanted me to go away.... while chewing on some paratha and chicken curry i realised what he would be going thru! it still din strike me ... ! australia was calling! nope! still dint sink in!..

just before i stepped outta my home, he hugged me, i cried.. granny hugged me, i cried.. and mum hugged me.. i still cried !! where was my brother? sailing in the high seas! he had seen the world alrdy and now it was my turn.. and he said to me, long long back.. "joy (yes, thats what i am called at home!) .. if i can go, im sure you can go too!.. certainly encouraged me.. if my li'l bro could go away from family into a foreign land.. what was stopping me?.. or worrying me for that matter?!.. we carried my bags!.. into the cellar.. put it into the car.. and started for the international airport.. (my first time ever!!).. my bestest friend was therre waiting for me at the airport.. he said he'd come to see me off.. after all we'd spent a real long time (yes, a real long time) together.. and i could'nt have left wiithout seeing him!.. he was there, and got a trolly for me.. he looked at me, and i looked at him and.. we smiled! now that we were at the airport.. it was time for me to 'check in'.. even tho i dint wanna! i dint have a choice either.. it was 10th feb.. and i had to leave, for brisbane bells were ringing!.. the luggage was thru (thank goodness i took off the extra blanket.. otherwise i'd have had to open the suitcases and take out stuff to be within 40kgs! phew).. it was around 9pm.. i jus knew i would have to leave them all and go away.. go faar faaar away!.. i wanted to spend as many minutes as i could with the three of them! they were there right thru immigration.. and finally my dad said, "joy, yu better go before it gets crowded"...! and he hugged me again..mum and me hugged and cried.. she could read my face.. it said "i dont wanna go!"... well, well, it was this decision i made!.. my friend who came stood with my parents.. and i waved at him.. turned and went into immigration! got thru that as well.. and walked into lounge after wavin the 'last goodbye'.. little did i know my folks were still waiting in the car.. and they would leave only when i was boardin the flight..! millions of phone calls.. friends, family.. and all those who meant so much to me! never did i have so many 'calls waiting' on my mobile! phew! and thankfully the battery dint give up!.. it still wasnt sinking in that i was going away! i have no idea why i couldn't believe it..! i spoke to all my friends, their families.. everyone wished me luck and couldn't believe i was going away! a difficult moment for each one, in their own way.. however, i was going away! announcement to board! finally..! singapore airlines was calling me! i stood up from my chair.. i was on call with the same friend who came all d way to see me off.. sms's all over the place.. "miss you.. love you".. and the words!!!.. well, i just couldn't have stayed back.. i was going away.. to a different country.. i walked thru the aero-bridge.. and entered the aircraft..! those singaporean airhostesses looked absolutely stunning! it impressed me, but i looonged for atleast one loved one with me! naaa.. for some reason, i still dint believe it.. as i came to my seat number, i asked one airhostess to help my with my backpack!.. i sat in my seat.. and noticed some wierdo sitting next to me! i dint know.. gettin a visa was THAT easy..! hmph!.. i was sending my last 10paisa sms to my friend when the airhostess came to me and said, "mam', can v have your cellphone swtiched off?"... broke my heart.. into a million peices.. slowly started sinkin in.. i was going away.. the seatbelts were fastened, the video display was put on.. and emergency exits were noted.. and the breathing aparatus was explained.. well, well, it soon would be taking off.. i heard the rumble of the engine.. and felt the slight bump .. realised the huuuugggeeee aircraft was moving! was i really going away.. ? my hands were itching to put on the cellphone and a few more sms's.. but it sure was too late! .... before i even knew it.. singapore airlines- took off !